Need to get back to writing my shit down....

It has been an extremely long time since I have updated my life. Still going to school, however physically and not on line. Loving it, but delays the moving out process that is in dire need. About a week ago my father, in his drunken state, threatened if I came in to the house with out his okay, he would make it look like I shot myself. Naturally I was upset at that remark because knowing him and knowing his past, I actually believed him. The next morning, nothing was said between him and I and my mother wanted me to sit with him and reach out to him. I wasn't in the wrong the previous night and wasn't about to act as if I was to make his life easier.

So I left. Stayed with friends for a week. Today was my first day back home. I walk in and say hello. My mother tells me that the ATT guy is coming back so they put the dogs in their room. I walk in and say hello to Starsky and Rocky. We have a third dog, but he wasn't there to welcome me. I assumed he was hiding under the bed, he does that from time to time. So I walk to the bed side and look under the bed, but Bentley wasn't there. I look in the back yard and when I Came up with nothing I asked my parents where he is. "oh, we took him to the humane society." So emotionless. Apparently, he was "snappy" with kids and the other dogs. He was a rescue dog, just needed more training and patience. I was devastated.. a week before today, I was devastated and knew that to get on with my life I needed to get away from this house. 5 minutes from my return to this house, and I am crushed yet again. I only returned because I had no where to go and have any means of taking care of myself. I returned on desperation and now I feel utterly trapped. My bentley <3